For the third installment of Campus Chowdown, we’re off the the Wild, Wild, Western Michigan University where we attempt to mount AFB Bar and Grill’s Bronco Challenge. Yee-haw.
In the second episode of Campus Chowdown, we return to East Lansing to face the Big Dawg Challenge (9 specialty hot dogs in 20 minutes). Will we be Top Dawg? Or go down as little wienies?
Between sleeping-in until noon, working nights, catching the flu from an eating contest for an episode of Campus Chowdown, and finally getting around to watching The Office (UK)—I haven’t had the time to check out True Detective, until this week (alright, alright, alright). I saw all of the buzz it was generating on Twitter and was anxious to see if it was worth the hype.
From peoples Tweets I sort of understood what it was all about beforehand. My feed was practically drowning in piss-poor Yellow King memes and “jokes”, so going into it I knew there was some sort of mystery on who this “Yellow King” is. I decided to make a night of the on-demand experience seeing how every episode garnered the Twitter attention of the Breaking Bad finale. I cleared all the plans I didn’t have, ordered pizza, hit the lights & lit candles to provide the optimal viewing experience. I was ready. Within the first five-minutes, however, I was quite confused. They showed and referenced the Yellow King?! How was everybody wondering who he is the whole time when they blatantly said it within the first five minutes of the very first episode? As the episode progressed I grew more and more confused. Much of the plot was unexplained and dialogue referenced things that the viewer was supposed to know but had no way of knowing, nor ever explained. The two detectives seemed to have a strange relationship and a lot of background that never was shown—I was completely lost. Thinking maybe I was too dazed during that episode, I decided to make a more cognitive effort to focus during the second. I didn’t touch my phone, I was in the zone. Yet, it still made no sense, what so ever. For the life of me I could not understand how the masses followed the show or enjoyed it because it made zero sense.
It took me three episodes…THREE EPISODES…to realize I was watching the show from end to finish, and now I can’t go back because I know how it ends. I bought the book and went straight to the last page. Here I was thinking everybody was an idiot for liking this show, when I was the fool. I bet I would have actually enjoyed it had I not dyslexicly viewed it. Hopefully I’ll learn how to read by the time season two rolls around.
For the first episode of our new food porn web series “Campus Chowdown“, my good friend Al Karsten and I head to our favorite East Lansing grub spot—Conrad’s Collegetown Grill—where we attempt to throw back 3 gigantic wraps each. Check it out!
Jared & Cort’s Sports Report: Episode 1–NFL Divisional Playoffs
The inaugural episode of Jared & Cort’s Sports Report! A weekly Sports Talk Show from the unique perspective of Channel 9 and 10‘s SPORTS Director Jared Smith and myself. I slipped up and called him the News Director—but he is not, he’s the Sports Director (I had the jitters and was nervous! Let it go). The combination of Jared’s professional insight with my…witty banter we re-cap the last week in the Sports world, while forecasting the upcoming week. Our chemistry really comes through and shows. The things we say on the mic are no different than the conversations we have off of it.
In this weeks episode we break-down the epic Divisional Playoff battles from last weekend, and make our picks/predictions on the upcoming Conference Championship games.
I put together a blooper reel from a short-film (Squares in CIrcles) I wrote/directed with some pals. Please pardon our French, we were having fun. Hopefully, I’ll get the full short-film up on here in the near future for your viewing pleasure (or disgust if you wanna be a d*** about it). It’s about a college-kid named Dylan (played by my friend and co-producer Al Karsten) who gets dumped flat on his face after his girlfriend’s father catches his inappropriate stand-up act. After the break-up he realizes he is completely alone and struggles to fit-in on campus, until he meets a stoner (played by yours truly) who seems to have it all going for him…but behind closed doors deals with some loneliness of his own. The video also features the very funny Dan Noble, who vomits hilarity in these bloopers (quite literally at parts, which—I apologize for ahead of time, but it had to make the cut). Finally, our beloved angel, AJ Hensen makes a cameo.
Hope you enjoy, stay tuned for the full 30-minute short.
Making music is fun. Although, I admit I’m far from a “musician”, I’ve always enjoyed making “Pranksta Raps”. This is a funny number we made called That Guy (At The Party) and it’s about…that guy at that party. We all have seen him (or her) doing outlandish things to bring themselves attention at the party. The song features John Eldon, Matt Elliott, and Joe, production/original beat by Nick Bognar; it’s from the perspective of those douchebags who don’t see a problem with their behavior. I just ordered a new microphone so I’m going to start making some more little jingles like this to share. Enjoy.
Welcome to the first edition of “Dear Cort”. Friends, followers, hooligans, and acquaintances sent me questions and I will answer their problems and concerns here on this public forum. Now, I mean, I’m not trying to change the world or anything with my advice…but I’m also not saying it won’t happen.
I also, would like to give a shout-out to salt bagels. A solid runner-up, love them–but if you don’t have a beverage handy you’re in trouble. Too salty, and thus makes me salty.
This summer, I spent some time backpacking Europe (make your cliche jokes) and was quite excited to visit the land of Harry Potter–London. I mean, I was VERY excited. I think that’s what made going there so heart-breaking. There’s no wizards. No Hogwarts. No Diagon Alley. All the things I wanted to see in London, weren’t there at all. It took me going there for it to finally sink in that it’s fake. Accepting the truth hurt. Of course, the whole time I knew it wasn’t real, but getting there and seeing with your own two eyes that none of it is real is, indeed, “depressing shit”.
And, meanwhile we’re all over here ripping Nike a new one for “child labor laws”, but fatso has a bunch of elves slaving away, YEAR-ROUND so the big guy can enjoy his one night of fame? Pshh. North Pole is made out to be a friendly factory, but it’s a plantation, I tell ya.
But, uh, yeah, he knows. He’s watching. He’s…always watching *puts on sunglasses, exits screen, fades to black*
There’s a Veteran connection to every person and around the nation today we are showing our gratitude for everything our Veterans have done for us.
Americans are commemorating Veterans Day with parades, monument dedications, and other special events. Even businesses across the country are offering discounts and deals to show their support.
Starbucks is brewing free cups of G.I. Joe (thank you, here all week) for Vets along with active duty personnel and their spouses. Veterans can, also, enjoy all-you-can-eat stacks of buttermilk pancakes for free at participating Denny’s.
More can always be done to help Veterans–whether it’s a donation, or simply lending an ear. Today, find your own way to honor the Vets. You could give your grandpa a call, just don’t get confused and thank your Veterinarian, not today.
Watch this piece air on Ch. 9& 10 in Northern Michigan tonight at 5!
They say watching too much TV will rot your brain. Perhaps my brain has already rotted and turned to mush, but I have to disagree with this quote. Yes, there is a lot of garbage on TV today that certainly does society no good (from Honey Boo Boo to Jersey Shore) but there is a program that’s been on TV a long time serving as a compactor for all the trash on TV–South Park.
I know what you’re thinking, South Park is trash. It’s toilet humor. Offensive to Christians, African Americans, Jews,Asians, Whites, Hispanics, Mormons, Scientologists, Gays, Straights, Aliens, Goths, Obese, Homeless…I could keep this sarcastic, italicized list going but I think you get the point and/or have heard it before, and hopefully find it as laughable as I do. Creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone poke fun at EVERYBODY, and do a stellar job at it. They accurately point out the flaws that exist inside all of us. They attack Conservatives and Liberals alike. They are, in fact, equal opportunity offenders. So, stop taking it so personally, softie.
It’s not my mission to talk about the criticisms of SP, though, I just had to say hi to the haters. My thesis is that Matt and Trey are geniuses. I don’t throw that word out there often, but that’s what they are. They are in a small fraternity of modern comedy “geniuses” (in my personal opinion, no true list exists) along with: Larry David, Louis CK, Jerry Seinfeld, Ricky Gervais (many will disagree with this but look at his track record and what he’s done) and I’m going to conclude my list there. To me, that list is today’s comedy geniuses. I would even take it a step further, by saying they are the best writers in TV today (yes, I know Trey writes and all that but I will be using “they” because as they point out in 6 Days to Air, they are a team and one cannot thrive successfully without the other). They tackle taboo subjects that no other show dare go near, and truly make you think and reflect–whether it’s Honey Boo Boo, Amendment Rights, Presidential Elections, Concussions in Football, etc they hit the nail on the head with what is wrong with our society and pop culture. Which leads me to say most of the shows critics, probably just don’t get the joke.
Vigilantism is illegal. You cannot, legally, go out and protect the streets from bad guys and take matters into your own hands. I saw with my own two eyes the masses take to Twitter to publicly proclaim what they would do to George Zimmerman if they saw him. As much as we all wanted justice to be served, we could do nothing. The Judicial System failed and we just have to live with it, right? Wrong. It is not illegal to put Zimmerman to death on the electric chair on your TV show. That is exactly what Matt and Trey did. In a way, justice was served last Wednesday when South Park put Zimmerman in his place.
Another recent episode that I found to be very inspirational and accurate was their take on the “Bully” movie, in their Season 16 Episode, “Butterballs“. I don’t want to give away many spoilers, I’d rather you watch it for yourself. It contains some of the best writing, both comically and in thought, that I’ve seen in a long, long time. This quick clip shows the genius writing and point of view they have: http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/412207/night-grandma. Smart, funny, and really connects with the audience. In that same episode, Trey and Matt convey how they feel if a director/filmmaker truly feels that their product is a “must see” like “Bully” was, that it should be available for free–not something to make a profit out of. No coincidence, this is how they feel about their own work. All episodes can be viewed for free online at SouthParkStudios.com.
The next time you hear somebody talking about how South Park is nothing more than toilet humor, do what Cartman would do and “kick ’em square in the nuts”.
With Love and Laughter,
Cort Freeman
Cort Freeman 